[Verse 1]
She's gettin' hammered on Alabama slammers
Three drinks ago, no, he wouldn't stand a chance
He's sipping' whiskey, feelin' confident and frisky
Writes 'Slow Hand' on a twenty and slips it to the band
By the end of the first verse, they're out on the floor
By the end of the song, they're out the door

[Chorus]
Spirits are up, inhibitions are down
Same story's unfolding all over town
From the barroom to the bedroom
The path's weathered and worn
This is how illegitimate children are born

[Verse 2]
So it's his place or hers, whichever comes first
They're all the way to second base in the back of the cab
It's hard to resist that liquored-up lust
And it's easy to think it might be love

[Chorus]
When spirits are up, inhibitions are down
Same story's unfolding all over town
From the barroom to the bedroom
The path's weathered and worn
This is how illegitimate children are born
[Bridge]
Strangers and slow songs
Barstools and backseats
Lead to bottles and babies
Ask cabbies and barkeeps

[Chorus]
When spirits are up, inhibitions are down
Same story's unfolding all over town
From the barroom to the bedroom
The path's weathered and worn
This is how illegitimate children are born
This is how illegitimate children are born