[Verse 1]
It's gospel night at the strip club, been sleepin' in my car
I lead the singin' service with a half-ass tuned guitar
Brandy's singin' backup while Lonnie's tendin' bar
Just waitin' for more sinners to show up

[Verse 2]
And Crystal just started dancin', she's always right on point
She don't mind if you don't tip her as long as you slip her a joint
And Patti's got an upper to get her through her shift
And a downer so she can lay down with the kids

[Chorus]
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Jesus loves the drunkards and the whores and the queers
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Would you recognize him if he bought you a beer?

[Verse 3]
Lonnie, he's a listener, he shoulda been a priest
It's the same confession on a barstool or your knees
He makes a mean Manhattan, but he ain't drank since '93
Does the last call benediction, then wipes the bar slate clean

[Chorus]
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Jesus loves the drunkards and the whores and the queers
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Would you recognize him if he bought you a beer?
[Verse 4]
The same old dirty dollars keep gettin' passed around
To whoever needs 'em most, and I guess that's me right now
'Cause I'm starin' at this Jackson someone laid here at my feet
And that's gas in my ol' Honda and somethin' warm to eat

[Chorus]
Hallelujah (Hallelujah), hallelujah (Hallelujah)
Jesus loves the drunkards and the whores and the queers
Hallelujah (Hallelujah), hallelujah (Hallelujah)
He laid down a twenty and then he disappeared