I'm tryin' not to panic, I'm gettin' all romantic
Gettin' soft with everything I say and do
I'm talkin' hours on the phone, puttin' on that sweet cologne
I'm even puttin' down the toilet seat for you

Aw, wait a minute, it gets worse
I found myself holdin' your purse, standin' outside that bra and panty store
My boss's wife walked by, she spotted me and told me hi
And I knew then, I was in for it for sure

Now all the boys down at the shop know and they sure do find it funny
They say you've changed my ways and that you're spending all my money, honey

Chorus:
If you're not in love
If you're not in love
If you're not in love
Aw, if you're not in love
Then I'm in a lot of trouble

I got this lump in my throat, then I sold my boat
So I could buy this diamond ring for you
Now I'm hopin' and I'm wishin' that since I can't go fishin'
You won't make me sell my golf clubs, too

The boys down at the shop know and they laugh until I cry
I told 'em, if I mess this up, my momma's gonna tan my hide

Chorus

I gave up that can of Snuff, no more NASCAR on TV
Honey, if that ain't enough, this may be the death of me

Chours (x2)