[Verse 1]
Ain't playin' in no tournaments
But I'm the most known player, no argument
Ha! Top paid, too, yabba-dabba-do
Dude going to jail for what he said
Man, FBI must want me dead
Now, watch, man, Machinima
Middle man, villain man
I'm comedian, they the laugh
Government try to take half
Fuck that shit, tax act
Took me a year to fly six hours
Atlanta International
Aerodrome Tower
Self-loathing in seatbelts
Security checks so detailed
Baggage claim, John McClaine
Died hard after Easter
Hung up on south-Asian ho
MSG and egg rolls
Dial tone busy, don't wanna know
Arrive in Texas for the massacre
All fucked up neurovascular
I'm forgotten: Mac OS Cheetah
Shit's scarier than Amnesia
Romance is a plot device
James Bond singing, North Korea
Only woman love me, mama mia
WOO!
[Verse 2]
Met some girl named Sandy
Modus operandi
Suck and lick, ride and trick
Spongebob squirrel bitch, suck my dick
Met some ho called Rena
Ace Ventura no brainer
Not the brightest, not the tightest
Won't let me tongue strap her ass at Midas
Fraudulent, abstinent
Vietnamese accent
Vanity
Centre of gravity
Palm oil panties
Squeaky voice insanity
This one's name is Jenny
Somebody give this ho an Emmy
Acting like she's too good
Friendship misunderstood
Girl thinks she's leading the flock
Bitch if you so hot why I block you?
Chelsea, Chelsea
Always with the jealousy
If you saw what I'd see
You'd see me watchin' your D's
Girl, you had a huge rack
Black girl booty, nothin' wrong with that
And she's singing Marvin Gaye
Rock the world, man, I'm here to stay
I thought I met a real lady
Not even close, baby
Bitch
[Fill]
(I called him a volisquare)
(OOOO I'm telling on you!)
(OOOh shit)
(Shit)
(He fucking typed it wrong)

[Verse 3]
Eh-heh-heh, now ladies done talkin' to me
Must be a has-been
I ain't even good at League
That's why I got to pick Shen
Put a hundred on (Too fed)
I'll take a hundred off
Eatin' nothin' but top lane
And drinkin' applesauce (Hit the sauce)
Sitting on my ass
Playing video games
Sucking down this juice (Hit the sauce)
Like I am Max Payne
Skyping with bitches from Britain
She's barren, I'm smitten
Hundred pound women
Fifty pound chest, sunfire cape
I am da bes, hoo!
Plenty in the trunk, took her for a test drive
Had to pay cash, I'd like to try a new model
This one's too fast
I think that they are women
I know that they are sluts
It's alright, bitch
I like your fuckin' butt (Hehe)
(Hehe, hehe, I got it!
Hehe!)