[Intro: Brooks + Sky Williams]
Heyo, my n***a, have you seen that new patch?
There's NO buffs. You're gonna have to just rap these nerfs with me, low-key.
But my name is DJ Buffs!
Those names were corny as fuck anyway.
MC Nerfs?!
Yo, on demacia fam, you just gotta to suck it up. If you feelin' any type of way about it, you gon' have to rap that shit.
Alright, whatever..

Jamba by Tyler, The Creator begins playing

[Verse 1: Sky Williams]
Riot made Scar nerf the Stars then that n***a told me "make yo bars ignite"
But now this barn yard bluffin' card throwin' yarn, but don't worry it's alright
Huh, SIKE!
Using only red Highlighters, you fucking liars!
I'mma find the firefighters that Riot hired with pliers
Like a marionette with wires and I ain't talking Freddy
This patch is pretty much all nerfs, y'all ready?
(Ay, Riot got ears bro, you need to chill)
Ok, ok, I'll stop!
From the makers of Gold Fakers and Rumbles and Bard Tops
Poppy gets a little chop sloppy but she still on lock
Damage nerf turned her left hook into a hard knock
Life -- without the chance of parole
Aurelion Sol, he's getting nerfed from platinum to gold
And n***a we cold, he ain't more than a week old
From a strong grip to a weak hold
Now a little sip from a deep gulp, with no pulp -- please!
[Hook: VideoGameDunkey, Sky Williams]
Ow, looks like they're nerfing Udyr's shit? Um..
Probably 'cause this game sucks dick!
Wow, Corki's damage basically shit, umm--
--Probably 'cause this game sucks dick!

[Interlude: Leah]
Lissandra's hair moves more realistically and looks super pretty
Lux's shield comes back to her faster now,
And Irelia's Q cost and she does more damage! Wow!

[Verse 2: Chief Brooks]
This bitch Soraka finally fucking took the bat
And look at that, RIot's best idea since the Marksman patch
They raised her mana costs, so early game you probably lost
Unless you got the mana runes or Manamune, bananas cost
I ban Jhin, so I can regulate the loss offense
I lost my friends, how does mana captivate an audience?
Dancing grenades got hit, they had to walk a bit
Like Rammus when he flashes to a minion trying to taunt a fizz
Hand me the patch notes, I grope and stroke and swallow it
Then spit it back with bars intact
My Twitter game, you follow it
Destined to try and call a pick
The Nerf boy's got Nerf balls
And altoids faster than fucking hollow tips
I'm staring straight at Morgana's tits
And every fucking game infamous bot lane goes 0 and 6
I don't recall if my base exists
They nerfed Zed but gave a hair buff to Liss? My ulti missed?
[Outro: VideoGameDunkey]
.. Probably 'cause this game sucks dick!