[Verse 1]
I was sittin' in my basement, I just rolled myself a taste of somethin'
Green and gold and glorious to get me through the day
Then my friend yelled through the transom "Grab your coat and get your hat son
There's a nut down on the corner givin' dollar bills away"

[Pre-Chorus 1]
But I laid around a bit, then I had another hit
Then I rolled myself a bauma, then I thought about my mama
Then I fooled around, played around, jacked around a while
And then

[Chorus 1]
I got stoned and I missed it
I got stoned and I missed it
I got stoned, and it rolled right by
I got stoned and I missed it
I got stoned and I missed it
I got stoned, oh me oh my

[Verse 2]
Now it took seven months of urgin' just to get that local virgin
With the sweet face up to my place to fool around a bit
Next day she woke up rosy and she snuggled up so cosy
When she asked me how I liked it Lord it hurt me to admit
[Chorus 2]
I was stoned and I missed it
I was stoned and I missed it
I was stoned, and it rolled right by
I was stoned and I missed it
I was stoned and I missed it
I was stoned, oh me oh my

[Verse 3]
Now I ain't makin' no excuses for the many things I uses
Just to sweeten my relationships and brighten up my day
But when my earthly race is over and I'm ready for the clover
And they ask me how my life has been, I guess I'll have to say

[Chorus 2]
I was stoned and I missed it
I was stoned and I missed it
I was stoned, and it rolled right by
I was stoned and I missed it
I was stoned and I missed it
I was stoned, oh me oh my

[Outro]
Ahh-ahh-ahh
You can't sing in that condition