I hate old folks, yes I do
I wish they'd go away
They think the world should owe them something
Because their hair is gray
They fart and wheeze and read a lot
And they watch things on TV
They walk with canes and crippled brains
They can barely even see

I hate old folks, yes I do
Their lives have all turned stale
If I was king of America
I'd throw them all in jail

They always call you Sonny
And they pinch you on the cheek
They're always making dumb remarks
Like, "You've grown like a weed!"
They think they're just so fucking smart
'Cause they've lived for eighty years
They're always whining about their hearts
And they shout 'cause they can't hear

I hate old folks, yes I do
Their lives have all turned stale
If I was king of America
I'd throw them all in jail