Bobby Brady's dealing crack
Marcia's on the pill
Mike's in bed with Alice
And Sam sells dog chops at his meat shop
Greg is trying on garter belts
And Peter spent three nights in jail
Murder in the Brady house
Because Jan Brady couldn't stand it

Murder in the Brady house
Things were just too great
Murder in the Brady house
Someone had to break

Cindy called Jan a stinker
For playing ball inside the house
She tattletaled
While Alice kissed the postman on the mouth
Blood is on the TV screen
And guts are on the stairs
Murder in the Brady house
And no one even cares

Murder in the Brady house
Things were just too great
Murder in the Brady house
Someone had to break
[Spoken]
Sounds great, Greg!

Bobby Brady's dealing crack
Marcia's on the pill
Mike's in bed with Alice
And Sam sells dog chops at his meat shop
Greg is trying on garter belts
And Peter spent three nights in jail
Murder in the Brady house
Because Jan Brady couldn't stand it

Murder in the Brady house
Things were just too great
Murder in the Brady house
Someone had to break

Someone had to break
Someone had to break
Someone had to break
Murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder