There's a real cool club on the other side of town
Where the real cool kids go to sit around
And talk bad about the other kids
Yeah, it's a real cool club, and you're not part of it

There's Millie, Pickles, and Pattycakes, too
And Cubby's making mean jokes about you
Ha ha
You little twit
Yeah, it's a real cool club, and you're not part of it

They're a real cool bunch of Die Fledermaus-keteers
And they'll laugh at the Toughskins your mom got you from Sears
You dork
They'll never let you in
'Cause it's a real cool club, and you're not part of it

You're fat and ugly and an imbecile, too
And that's why they draw funny pictures of you
And talk bad about all the kids
'Cause it's a real cool club, and you're not a part of it
Yeah, it's a real cool club, and you'll never be a part of it
Yeah, it's a real cool club, and you're not part of it
Yeah, it's a real cool club, and you'll never be a part of it