What will it take to make you happy?
What will it take to stop your whining?
What will it take to make you amscray?
What will it take to stop your crying?

Well I know that you've been so bored since the Circle K closed down
So if it makes you feel a little bit better, just picture me crying

Crying in my beer
Crying in my beer, ah-oh ooh
Crying in my beer
Crying in my beer, ah-oh ooh
Crying in my beer

I got a feeling you've been damaged
(Whoa oh oh oh oh)
I think you've got way too much time on your hands
(Whoa oh oh oh oh)
I throw away your stupid letters
(Whoa oh oh oh oh)
Like Margie Whipple, you don't get it
(Whoa oh oh oh oh)

If you were a TV show, baby, you would've been cancelled
Due to declining viewership, recycled plots, and bad acting
Crying in my beer
Crying in my beer, ah-oh ooh
Crying in my beer
Crying in my beer, ah-oh ooh
Crying in my beer

[Guitar lead]

It's pointless to wonder what life would be like with you and me
'Cause me minus you equals one little parasite less

I'm crying in my beer
Crying in my beer, ah-oh ooh
Crying in my beer
Crying in my beer, ah-oh ooh

Crying in my beer
Crying in my beer, ah-oh ooh
Crying in my beer
Crying in my beer, ah-oh ooh
Crying in my beer

Crying in my beer