[Verse 1]
I’m not just some dilettante
If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got names to drop
Think my lyrics don’t make sense?
Well, maybe you’re a little dense
Pretentious? Moi? Don’t be absurd
Sure, I use some twenty-dollar words
But brother, I’m the salt of the Earth
And while my band might be subpar
And I’m stuck here tending bar
I hold my own with all the punk rock stars

[Verse 2]
My politics are so correct
I march along in perfect step
And all my pals think like I do
That’s how I know I’ve got a clue
Now let me make this crystal clear
You point and laugh at all that I hold dear
But I’ve got the respect of all my peers
And they’re allowed to take the piss
But if you cross me, then I’ll shake my fist
And tell the Internet about it

[Chorus]
I’m a big man
[Verse 3]
It’s time for me to show my ass
And pass some rumors on as fact
But don’t you dare call me a clown
I’ll have my lawyer shut your website down
I went on tour with NOFX
I didn’t really have a job with them
But I’ll have you know they’re personal friends
I got to ride Fat Mike’s giraffe
And we all sat around and laughed
At everyone who’s sick of my act

[Outro]
Little big man
I’m a big man
Little big man