No more pretending now, the albatross is dying in its nest
The company is crippling me
The worst trying to ruin the best, the best
Their promotion's so lame
They could never ever take it to the real ball game
Maybe they think I'm a pet
Well I've got all the diseases
I'm breaking out in sweat, you bet, because

I got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
I got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west

The boys and me are getting real well known around town
But every time we try to spread the action
Someone always brings it down, down
I ate the orange and I don't feel well
For them it's inconvenience for me it's hell
The geriatric staff think we're freaks
They couldn't sell kebabs to the Greeks, the geeks
Inaction speaks, and

I got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
I got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west
Is this a Russian conspiracy, no it's just idiocy
Is this a Chinese burn
I gotta a dinosaur for a representative
It's got a small brain and refuses to learn

Their promotion's so lame
They could never ever take it to the real ball game
Listen I ain't a pet
I ain't a token hipster, in your monopoly set
You bet because

I got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
I got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west

He's got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
He's got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west

Yeah the best kept secret in the west
The best kept secret in the west