Country has drawbacks
The mud and the rain
The ticks and the bugs
And the rugged terrain

You gotta deal with people
Who are almost insane
Folks who operate with
Only part of their brain

You left me in the wilderness
And ran back to town
You just couldn't hack it, girl
You really let me down

And I thought when we came up here
We were gonna settle down
Now all I got is weather
And a hole in the ground

Well, well, well, well
Well, well, well, well, well
Stick a fork in me, baby
Turn me over, I'm done, you can tell

Well, well, well, well
Well, well, well, well, well
If this is heaven what must it be like in hell
Well, well, well
It all looks so idyllic in the real estate page
A handyman special, it's the latest rage
It's all you ever wanted, it's the very next stage
Get out of the city, stop rattling your cage

But look at the reality
And what do you know
The schools are bad
The restaurants suck
There's ten feet of snow

And the locals carry handguns
And they don't seem to know
The difference between
A man, a dog or a doe

Well, well, well, well
Well, well, well, well, well
Stick a fork in me, baby
Turn me over, I'm done, you can tell

Well, well, well, well
Well, well, well, well, well
If this is heaven what must it be like in hell
Well, well, well, well, well
Well, well, well, well
Well, well, well, well, well
Stick a pitchfork in me, baby
Turn me over, I'm done, you can tell

Well, well, well, well
Well, well, well, well, well
If this is heaven what must it be like
If this is heaven what must it be like
If this is heaven what must it be like

If this is heaven what must it be like in hell
Well, well, well, well, well
Hey, well, oh, well
Well, well