Well I wonder why it is that we have rascals, rogues and losers
We’ve got roustabouts, rapscallions, and a bucket load of boozers
We’ve got balladeers and blowhards of all sorts
We’ve got poets, priests and pirates
But we have no astronauts

They say there was a space race
If there was I think I missed it
From the earth up to the moon and back
Doesn’t that take the biscuit?
Well I wouldn’t mind a little ride in zero gravity
As long as they could promise I’d be home in time for tea

Chorus:
I’ve got me two good legs if I want to take a trip
I got no use for a rocket ship
I’ll walk if you don’t mind that’s how I always get around
I might be staring at the stars
But I keep both feet on the ground

There’s a great big giant vacuum
Up there in the sky
Ah but where’s the place to plug it in?
I think it’s all a lie
I’ve heard of Haley’s Comet and I’ll tell you what I think
It’s just a kind of chemical for cleaning out the sink
(Chorus)
We’ve got no use for Sputnik
We’ve got spuds to go around
And you’ll never see the shuttle land
On the streets of Newry town
Well in the fields of Athenry there’s not a launching pad in sight
We’ve got no Mirs or Voyagers but we turned out alright

(Chorus)