[FULTON]
As the chairman of the committee
I announce we've made our choice
Every lover from Dubuque to Jersey City
Should rejoice

[COMMITTEE]
We rejoice!
When the angels up there designed her
They designed a thoroughbred
And on March the fourth the President will find her
Worthy of his board and bed

[FULTON, spoken]
And now it thrills me to introduce the rarest of American beauties
The future First Lady of the land
A fit consort for the ruler of one hundred and twenty two million freeborn
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Diana Devereaux

[ENSEMBLE]
How beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
How utterly, utterly so
The charming, the gracious, the dutiful
Diana Devereaux

[FULTON, spoken]
The committee will now tell why she was chosen, with music
[COMMITTEE]
Never was there a girl so fair
Never was there a form so rare

[DEVEREAUX, spoken]
Ah could throw mah arms right around your neck!

[COMMITTEE]
A voice so lyrical
Is given few
Her eyes a miracle
Of Prussian blue
Ruby lips and a foot so small
As for hips—she has none at all

[GILHOOLEY]
Did you ever see such tootsies
Or a more enticing limb?

[LIPPMAN]
And the ankles of her footsies
Are so slim

[LYONS]
What a charming epiglottis
What a lovely coat of tan
Oh, the man who is not hot is
Not a man!
[ENSEMBLE]
She's a bargain to whom she's wed
More than worthy his board and bed

[FULTON]
Says the chairman of the committee
Let the newsmen now come in
For the sound reels you must look your best, my pretty
Have the interviews begin

[COMMITTEE]
We shall go and bring them in

[WINTERGREEN]
Stop! No!
Though this may be a blow
I simply cannot marry
Diana Devereaux

[ENSEMBLE]
What's this? What's this?
He says he cannot marry
Diana Devereaux

[COMMITTEE]
You mean you will not marry
Diana Devereaux?
[WINTERGREEN]
Please understand
It isn't that I would jilt or spurn her
It's just that I love someone else

[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
Who?

[WINTERGREEN, spoken]
Whom

[WINTERGREEN]
Mary Turner

[COMMITTEE]
The man is mad
Or else a cad
He'll have to take her
He can't forsake her

[DEVEREAUX]
This jilting me
It cannot be
This lousy action
Calls for retraction

[COMMITTEE]
We must know why
You should prefer
Instead of Di
A girl like her

[ENSEMBLE]
Yes, tell us why
You should prefer
Instead of Di
A girl like her

[WINTERGREEN]
All that I can say of Mary Turner
Is that I love Mary Turner

[COMMITTEE]
What's to be done?
Though she has won
Though she is signed up
He's made his mind up
His love he'd rather
Give to the other
What shall we do now?
What is our cue now?

[DEVEREAUX]
He will do nothing of the sort
First we'll settle this thing in court
You seem to think Miss Turner hits the spot
But what has she got that I haven't got?

[ENSEMBLE]
Yes, what has she got
That she hasn't got?

[WINTERGREEN]
My Mary makes corn muffins
Can you make corn muffins?

[DEVEREAUX]
I can't make corn muffins

[ENSEMBLE]
She can't make corn muffins