[WINTERGREEN]
Here's a kiss for Cinderella
And a parting kiss for May
Toodle-oo, goodbye
This is my wedding day
Here's a parting smile for Della
And the lady known as Lou
Toodle-oo, goodbye
With bachelor days I'm through
Though I really never knew them
It's a rule I must obey
So I'm saying goodbye to them
In the customary way
My regards to Arabella
And to Emmaline and Kay
Toodle-oo, dear girls, goodbye
This is my wedding day
[WINTERGREEN & ENSEMBLE]
Here's a kiss for Cinderella (He is toodle-ooing all his lady loves)
And a parting kiss for May (All the girls he didn't know so well)
Toodle-oo, goodbye (All the innocent and all the)
This is my wedding day (Shady loves, oh, ding-a-dong-a-dell)
Here's a parting glance (Bride and groom, their future)
For Della (Should be glorious)
And the lady known as Lou (What a happy story they will tell)
Toodle-oo, goodbye (Let the welkin now)
With bachelor days (Become uproarious)
I'm through (Oh, ding-a-dong-a-ding-a-dong-a-dell)
[ENSEMBLE]
Clear the way
Hail the bride
Sweet and gay
Here comes the bride!
[TURNER]
Is it true or am I dreaming?
Do I go to heaven to stay?
Never was a girl so happy on her wedding day
[CHIEF JUSTICE, spoken]
Do you, John P. Wintergreen, solemnly swear
To uphold the Constitution of the United States of America
And to love, honor, and cherish this woman
So long as you two shall live?
[WINTERGREEN, spoken]
I do
[CHIEF JUSTICE, spoken]
Do you, Mary Turner, promise to love, honor, and cherish this man
So long as you two shall live?
[TURNER, spoken]
I do
[CHIEF JUSTICE, spoken]
Therefore, by virtue of the power that is vested in me as Chief Justice
I hereby pronounce you President of the United States, man and wife
[WINTERGREEN, spoken]
Mary
[TURNER, spoken]
John
[WINTERGREEN & TURNER]
Is it true or am I dreaming?
Have I come to heaven to stay?
[WINTERGREEN & TURNER]
Never was a boy so happy (Never was a girl so happy)
On his wedding— (On her wedding—)
[DEVEREAUX]
Stop! Halt! Pause! Wait!
[ENSEMBLE]
Who is this intruder?
There's no one could be ruder
What's your silly notion
In causing this commotion?
[DEVEREAUX]
I was the most beautiful blossom
In all the Southland
I was sent up North to enter the contest
With the understanding that the winner
Was to be the President's wife
The Committee examined me
My lily-white body fascinated them
I was chosen
It was the happiest moment of my life
[ENSEMBLE]
Yes, yes, go on
Yes, yes, go on
[DEVEREAUX]
Suddenly the sky fell
Suddenly, for no reason at all
No reason at all
This man rejected me
All my castles came tumbling down
And so I am serving him with a summons
For breach of promise
[ENSEMBLE]
What! What!
The water's getting hot!
She says he made a promise
A promise he forgot
[DEVEREAUX]
It's true! It's true!
[JUSTICES]
The day he's getting married
You put him on the spot
[JUSTICES & ENSEMBLE]
It's dirty work of Russia
A communistic plot
[WINTERGREEN]
Please understand
It wasn't that I would jilt or spurn her
It's just that there was someone else
[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
Whom?
[WINTERGREEN, spoken]
Who
[WINTERGREEN]
Mary Turner
[CHIEF JUSTICE]
We're having fits
[ENSEMBLE]
We're having fits
[CHIEF JUSTICE]
The man admits—
[ENSEMBLE]
The man admits—
[CHIEF JUSTICE]
This little sinner—
[ENSEMBLE]
This little sinner—
[CHIEF JUSTICE]
Was really winner
[ENSEMBLE]
Was really winner
[DEVEREAUX]
I couldn't see—
[ENSEMBLE]
She couldn't see—
[DEVEREAUX]
His jilting me
[ENSEMBLE]
His jilting she
[DEVEREAUX]
And so I'm doing—
[ENSEMBLE]
And so she's doing—
[DEVEREAUX]
A bit of suing
[ENSEMBLE]
A bit of suing
[MEN]
And if it's true she has a claim
You should be called a dirty name
[WOMEN]
And if it's true she has a claim
Then you're a dirty, dirty name
[TURNER]
John, no matter what they do to hurt you
The one you love won't desert you
[DEVEREAUX]
I'm a queen who has lost her king
Why should she wear the wedding ring?
[WINTERGREEN]
Some girls can bake a pie
Made up of prunes and quinces
Some make an oyster fry
Others are good at blintzes
Some lovely girls have done
Wonders with turkey stuffin's
But I have found the one
Who can really make corn muffins
[ENSEMBLE]
Yes, he has found the one
Who can really make corn muffins
[DEVEREAUX]
Who cares about corn muffins?
All I demand is justice
[WINTERGREEN & TURNER]
Which is more important?
Corn muffins or justice?
[ENSEMBLE]
Which is more important?
Corn muffins or justice?
[CHIEF JUSTICE]
If you will wait a minute
You'll have our decision
The decision of the Supreme Court is—
[JUSTICES]
Corn muffins!
[ENSEMBLE]
Great! Great!
It's written on the slate
There's none but Mary Turner
Could ever be your mate
[DEVEREAUX]
It's I, not Mary Turner
Who should have been his mate
I'm off to tell the story
In every single state
[ENSEMBLE]
Be off with you, young woman
He's married to his mate
There's none but Mary Turner
Could ever be his mate
There's none but Mary Turner
Could ever be his mate
[DEVEREAUX, spoken]
See you in court, y'all
[WINTERGREEN]
Of thee I sing, baby—
[WINTERGREEN & ENSEMBLE]
Summer, autumn, winter, spring, baby
Shining star and inspiration
Worthy of a mighty nation
Of thee I sing!
