I found a video on my porch
Put it on the VCR
It told me to go to the forest
And play my guitar
The forest is a dangerous place
You take your life in your hands
There are wild animals
Marking trees with marker glands

I've got a deer wife
A deer wife
Keep it to yourself

So I went to the forest
With my guitar and my bag
And there I found a doe
Surrounded by stags
Well the stags did rut and yowl
Jab at me with antlers and with hooves
But that doe chose me
Whatcha gonna do?

I've got a deer wife
A deer wife
Keep it to yourself
I've got a deer wife
And a battle for survival
Rooting for acorns and berries
And fending off my rivals
But one day I will be
Monarch of this glen
Mark the trees not with glands
But with a Krink pen

I've got a deer wife
A deer wife
Keep it to yourself