I've got a pervert doppelganger
He came from over the sea
He hangs around doing sexual crimes
And the blame is getting pinned on me
The blame is getting pinned on me

Whenever that pervert shows his face
My friends all think he's me
They give him records by Squarepusher
And a box of Japanese tea
A box of Japanese green tea

He's taken a flat in Smithfields now
Where refrigerated lorries unload dead cows
They call him the Smithfields Ripper now
And the rap is getting pinned on me
The rap is getting pinned on me

And now my pervert doppelganger
Has got my girlfriend's phone-number
I gave her a warning, but yesterday morning
She cancelled her date with me
'And made it a date with me!'

I went to the flat of my doppelganger
I'd copied my girlfriend's key
I waited in a cupboard till they both came round
Then jumped out very suddenly
Jumped out very suddenly
And now we get along like a house on fire
The police took away my doppelganger
He's a high security prisoner now
Being held under lock and key
And everybody thinks, thinks he's me

And when the lorries unload their cows
Their hogs, their heifers and sows
In piles of slithering meat
I give my girl a treat
With unstoppable energy
Can the man in the mirror be me
Can the man in the mirror be me
Can the man in the mirror be me
Or can it be

My pervert doppelganger