I would like to be
All things to you
If you're all things to me
I'll bring to you
A higher ecstasy
Just as my teacher taught (oh yeah)
Lying in the dark
In all positions
Toying with the spark
Is my ambition
Mister Polyglot
O the things you taught
Us little girls

Selected to attend
Beginning at the age of 9 or 10
For lessons on impressing older men
With our seductive looks (oh yeah)
Wearing little frocks
We sit in rows
In little cotton socks
With Kittens on them
Memorising plots
From pornographic books

How to be a flirt
And catch a man
And how to stop your skirt
From riding down
And how to make a tart
And be a cherry pie (oh yeah)
Walking round the block
Holds many dangers
We ought really not
To talk to strangers
Just the way we walk
Could start the next world war
Swiss finishing school
And much too fussy
Office typing pools
Are not for us
For we are much too cool
For courses of that kind (oh yeah)
Mummy, daddy dear
Please do not quarrel
What we study here
Is not immoral
It only appears
That way to narrow minds