Grim song, but everything's fine
I'm always your monkey and I'm going down on beautiful
Sunshine in my private life, but people are strange alone in the night

Today has been just awful far beyond the mean
Someone scissored through an orphan's eyes
The brain surgeon turned out to be a total loser
The weather brought a horrible surprise
Someone got attacked with acid in revenge
For the human sacrifice occurring at Stonehenge
I think I'm going to change the newspaper I take
They must have printed all this by mistake

Stop the press, stop it all
Cropping our monstrosities up against the wall
This isn't how we rise, it must be how we fall
Is this what they call Grand Guignol?

Grim song, but everything's fine
I'm always your monkey and I'm going down on beautiful
Sunshine in my private life, but people are strange alone in the night

Another day of mayhem far beyond the mean
A lunatic hacked off an athlete's arms
The Kumamons escaped, creating carnage in Japan
You'd think Godzilla had done enough harm
Someone set the old museum mummies all on fire
The inferno blazed from Fleet Street to St Paul's
A future Dalai Lama got knocked over by a train
I hope someone responsible is catching this on film
Stop the press, stop it all
Cropping our monstrosities up against the wall
This isn't how we rise, it must be how we fall
Is this what they call Grand Guignol?