Behold, the eighth wonder of the natural world!
Come one and come all, see the two-headed girl
Stupendous! Revolting!
You’ll be shocked, you’ll be awed!
A true freak of nature, a blunder of God!
But possessing such talents
Hear them sing, see them dance
As seen in the highest class parlors of France
Just ten bucks a photograph
Get your seats while they last
We take Visa and MasterCard, debit or cash

Isn’t it nice that they’re being so nice to us?
If I’m not mistaken, I think they might like us
Aren’t we lucky to be here?
Stop moving, they’re taking a picture
Smile for the camera, Evelyn

Come in, come in, must be cold out there gentlemen
Take off your coats, and just guess what the wind blew in
I know you like twins, have I got a surprise
They’re identical sisters attached at the side
Just imagine the fun you could have with these chicklets
And they’re so well-behaved, not a single complaint yet
Just look at these photographs, while I pour you a cocktail
I don’t know whether I should charge double or triple!
Isn’t it nice that they’re being so nice to us?
If I’m not mistaken, I think they might like us
Aren’t we lucky to be here?
Stop moving, they’re taking a picture
Smile for the camera, Evelyn

Ladies and gentlemen, critics and hipsters
Have you heard the new disc by the Evelyn sisters?
Seamlessly floating with grace between eras and genres
They sing timeless new songs, rife with double entendres
As featured in Rolling Stone, Spin, The New Yorker and Pitchfork (Pitchfork!)
There’s an in-store appearance today at the corner of Bedford and Seventh Ave., some get a photograph, sticker and autographed shirt

Isn’t it nice that they’re being so nice to us?
If I’m not mistaken, I think they might like us
Aren’t we lucky to be here?
Stop moving, they’re taking a picture
Smile for the camera, Evelyn