You know I love my Lady, been together so long
Like a worn-out recording, of my favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns, there was this letter that read:

"If you like Piña Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me, and escape."

I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Had fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper, Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half-bad

"Yes, I like Piña Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food, but I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow
And cut through all this red tape
At a bar called Scrappy Malloy's, we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you."
And we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew,"
"I never knew you liked Piña Coladas, or getting caught in the rain and the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape
You're the lady that I've looked for, come with me and escape"