[Verse 1]
Uncle Toad sittin' by the old south gate
Waitin' them boys they been stayin' out late
Uncle Toad thinks they are way out of line
Maybe they think he is past his prime

[Chorus]
Uncle Toad said, "Better straighten up right"
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight

[Verse 2]
Uncle Toad lived in the wood out back
Lived in the shade of a utility shack
He looked in at the big brick house
At the girls as quiet as a mouse

[Chorus]
Uncle Toad said, "You had best get it right"
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight

[Verse 3]
Uncle Toad tucked in the compost pile
Out by the back door, look at him smile
He said, "Kid, stop drinkin' that brew
Plan while you can or the joke's on you"
[Chorus]
Uncle Toad said, "Better straighten up right"
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight

[Verse 4]
Uncle Toad sittin' by the swimmin' pool
Sits in the sun when the weather turns cool
Sits in the sun when the girls walk by
Maybe they think he's a little bit sly

[Chorus]
Uncle Toad said, "You had best get it right"
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight

[Verse 5]
Uncle Toad sittin' by the cool mill race
All day long with a grin on his face
He said, "Boys, you had better not try
Kissin' 'em girls 'cause I won't stand by"

[Chorus]
Uncle Toad said, "Better straighten up right"
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight

[Verse 6]
Uncle Toad sittin' by the wrought iron fence
Looks at the moon like it don't make sense
We say, "Toad, here's lookin' at you
Hopin' you'll get your wish too"
[Chorus]
Sway to the left, sway to the right
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight