[Verse 1]
Tired of living in Buttholeville
Tired of my job and my wife Lucille
Tired of my kids, Ronnie and Neil
Tired of my '68 Bonneville

[Verse 2]
Working down at Billy Bob's Bar and Grill
The food here tastes like the way I feel
There's a girl on the dance floor dressed to kill
She's the best looking woman in Buttholeville

[Verse 3]
One day I'm gonna get out of Buttholeville
Gonna reach right in, gonna grab the till
Buy a brand new hat and a Coupe de Ville
Lay a patch on the road that runs over the hill

[Verse 4]
There's a beach somewhere where the waters are still
Gonna lay in the sun 'til my pussy little white skin peels
Drinking the best malt liquor, eating lobster, eating eel
Swear to God, I'm never going back to Buttholeville

[Outro]
Never going, never going, never going never going back!