[$crim]
If- alright the whole thing about licking asshole is this, it's like I'm down to do it. A lot of motherfuckers think I'm sick or something because of this—but it's like—I'm down to do it, I did it before and it's pretty fucking nice, like I enjoy it. I like having like a black bitch with a fat ass, spread them cheeks, like put on my face. Y'know what I'm saying? But, here's the stipulations if I'm going to some shit like that. First off-

[Bystander]
[Unintelligible dialect]

[$crim]
No. Fuck no, farting ain't even- a bitch better not fart in front of me ever, period. Whether she's naked, sitting down, we eating, or anything. Because if she farts in front of me, then yeah party's over, like I'm breaking up with you right then there. Now for the stipulations of ass eating; one of two things needs to happen, and if both things are happening, it just makes it better for me. One, gotta bleach the anus! Gotta bleach the anus. Gotta be fresh, gotta be clean, and I don't know what else can get it more clean than bleaching that motherfucker. I mean correct me if I'm wrong.

[Bystander]
MadaCide

[$crim]
MadaCide? What the fuck is that?

[Bystander]
It's a carcinogen cleaner.

[$crim]
Dude I don't want her to rot her fucking asshole with some acid and shit like y'all talkin about, I just wanted to bleach the motherfucker. Or secondly, if she gets like fresh, like, straight out of the shower, like not even time to dry off like you know what I'm sayin'? Like suds still sittin' in the asshole from the soap.

[Bystander]
[Unintelligible dialect]

[$crim]
Then yeah I'm throwing her down, and we're getting it in. You know what I'm sayin'? Like she can take a shower, she drys off and all that shit, then it gets all dry and it's like friction in between the cheeks and all that.
[Bystander]
So, it's not stipulated she has to have a clean shaven ass?

[$crim]
Absolutely! Hold up, that's like automatic. I never fuck with a bitch-

[Bystander]
You never mentioned anything about that.

[$crim]
Well to me I thought that was just natural, that's like automatic. It's like, bitch if you bend over and I see one little fucking hair. You know what I'm sayin'? It's like-

[Bystander]
[Unintelligible dialect]

[$crim]
Yeah, that shit should be waxed and taken care of!