[Verse 1]
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A pair of skinny khakis

[Verse 2]
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two snapback hats and a pair of skinny khakis

[Verse 3]
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and a pair of skinny khakis

[Verse 4]
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Four pairs of Vans, three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and a pair of skinny khakis

[Verse 5]
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Five large pizzas
Four pairs of Vans, three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and a pair of skinny khakis

[Verse 6]
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Six flannel shirts
Five large pizzas
Four pairs of Vans, three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and a pair of skinny khakis
[Verse 7]
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Seven vinyl records, six flannel shirts
Five large pizzas
Four pairs of Vans, three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and a pair of skinny khakis

[Verse 8]
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eight Tumblr notes
Seven vinyl records, six flannel shirts
Five large pizzas
Four pairs of Vans, three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and a pair of skinny khakis

[Verse 9]
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Nine cardboard signs, eight Tumblr notes
Seven vinyl records, six flannel shirts
Five large pizzas [Guitar Solo]
Four pairs of Vans, three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and my parents' understanding

[Verse 10]
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Ten pics of Patty
Nine cardboard signs, eight Tumblr notes
Seven vinyl records, six flannel shirts
They forgot the pepperoni
Four pairs of Vans, three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and a merch guy we named Fappy
[Verse 11]
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eleven anchor tats, ten pics of Patty
Nine cardboard signs, eight Tumblr notes
Seven vinyl records, six flannel shirts, this isn't what I ordered
But seriously call Dominos, and demand a refund
Four pairs of Vans, three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and an unnecessary breakdown, blegh!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Twelve broken hearts
Eleven anchor tats, ten pics of Patty
Nine cardboard signs, eight Tumblr notes
Seven vinyl records, six flannel shirts
"No, this is unacceptable, who forgets pepperoni? Pepperoni's like the default topping. Like if anything, people who order cheese would get the pepperoni on it accidentally!"
"Come on man, finish the song."
"Fine!"
Four pairs of Vans, three Peace Teas
Two snapback hats, and a pair of skinny khakis

[Outro]
Merry Christmas to each and every one of you!
Isn't it crazy Fearless let us do this?