[Verse 1]
Your last name's Weinstein and your first name's Jay
You're a food critic and you're fucking gay
You have more hair on your face than you have on your head
Pretty soon you'll have AIDS and you'll be fucking dead

[Chorus]
You are a food critic
You are a food critic
You are a food critic
You are a food critic

[Verse 2]
You're old enough—to have bought "Let It Be" when it was new
You're bald enough—to blind a bird you fucking jew
You're gay enough—to go out with Liberace
You're gay enough—you fucking fag
I'm 22, you're 33, and you go to school with me
Jay Weinstein is a gay bald jew with a beard