[Verse 1]
I got a room made of glass, so the sun wakes me up
I head down to the kitchen, Patfan, pour me a cup
It's time to start another day, let's head into the wild
But you don't need a coat because the weather is mild
So I equip a couple swords, bows, axes, and stuff
My inventory is full, so I guess that's enough
I put the rest in my chest and I'm out on the road
Bring a shovel, Patfan, just in case it snows
Oh, we always make sure that we go out prepared
And whenever we come home, we got plenty to spare
I'm talkin' wood, coal, stone, meat, diamonds, and gold
And a couple torches too, just in case we get cold
Yo, craftin' mines all across this land
Diamond armor on my back, a pickaxe in my hand
At the end of the day when we all hit the hay
We know we got a lot done and that's why we say

[Chorus]
I'm playin' Minecraft and I just can't stop
When the sun comes up, I collect my crops
I'm playin' Minecraft, life is so much fun
When everything is a block from the moon to the sun
I'm playin' Minecraft, blastin' mountains away
If I don't like the landscape, then I make it my way
'Cause in Minecraft, the world is my own
I never let a single Creeper get inside of my home
[Verse 2]
No, stack the TNT way up high
We 'bout to blow a hole the size of Jupiter in the sky
Woah, stand aside, that diamond is mine
Don't make me summon up my old compadre Herobrine
I'm the kind of guy who just designs obsidian castles
So I'm always protected from the hackers and assholes
I ask that you act on your kindest behavior
If you disobey me, you'll get the punishment chamber
And don't take anything from my room ever
'Cause if you touch a single thing, I'll send you into the Nether
Shove you in a lava pit and kick you down a mineshaft
Right before I'll make it clear to you that this is Minecraft
Endermen think that they own this place
I stare those ugly, lanky, stankfarts right in the face
Let 'em come at me, I'll send 'em back where they came
'Cause Minecraft is my life, don't you hear what I'm sayin'?

[Chorus]
I'm playin' Minecraft, hunting cows with my bow
I got a couple steak tips cookin' up on the stove
I'm playin' Minecraft, don't make your house out of wood
I got a bucket full of lava, now that won't end too good
I'm playin' Minecraft and I think I just drowned
The mine that I was working on got flooded somehow
Because in Minecraft, you gotta watch your bum
I was at level sixty-eight and now I'm back to one
[Bridge]
When you're in the mines, you're spendin' all your time diggin' deeper, never knowin' when you're comin' home
I'm lookin' for a sign, some hope that I might find another way to see the sun again, I'll never know
I cough and spew, the old black lung has taken me over, now my time is done
I'll never see the surface again
Because the diamond that I'm minin' is my only friend

[Chorus]
I'm playin' Minecraft, I'm takin' on these mobs
When they pick a fight with me, they deal with all my dogs
I'm playin' Minecraft, so I'm fluent in Java
I'm buildin' skyscrapers while you're swimmin' in lava
I'm playin' Minecraft, tearin' up your worlds
You don't like how I play? Get your own server
Because in Minecraft, there ain't no rules

[Outro]
Okay, wait, hold up, cut the beat
This is so not cool
Who took my diamonds?
I had, like, one hundred and twenty diamonds in here
Really? Okay, okay
You're tellin' me that the diamonds just disappeared?
You're tellin' me that they magically sprouted a brain and legs and decided it was a good idea to leave the chest in my concealed, obsidian castle?
Yeah? That's what happened?
Yeah, okay, good story