[Intro]
(...four)

[Verse 1]
When Little James thinks he can't make it
Well, he settles down and takes it
Even when green apple aliens monitored his [?]

When he was desolate and naked
In the damp and darkened spaceship
He uttered a prayer and grinned
The aliens couldn't figure him out

[Chorus]
Well the cosmic beings held a cosmic meeting
And rethought their apocalyptic plans
Humans observed from space
We're a war-ridden race
If this James is [?] good

Perhaps the destruction of Earth and the Galaxy's rebirth
Could wait just a few years
They removed the metal wiring and released James to Earth
With a cynical pat on the back

[Bridge]
James went home and opened his desk and
Cigar box full of comics and read the Amazing Spider-Man 4 all night
His parents never knew he was gone
[Verse 2]
27 years later, he hears a digitized voice just like Darth Vader's
Calling him to his window
In the moonlight stand three blowing alien wretches
James stretches, and hears the warning
On a quiet future morning, his alien friends will destroy everyone but him
And a few selected, few selected by James himself

I'm glad I was always nice to James