Stormy seas, washed up on a beach
Half dead till a maiden resuscitate me
And could it be? Is it she? My queen?
I’m zealous about my Zelda fidelity

It wasn’t her, yet she gave me something to drink
And then she asked me who I was I took a second to think
When I remembered I said my name is Link
She said welcome to the Island of Koholint

Took me to her village and she showed me around
She introduced me to her pops and her pet Bow Wow
She said her name was Marin, that she wanted to leave
Sprout wings that would carry me across the sea

An owl told me if I wanted to win this
I’d have to play a song to awaken the Wind Fish
And in this journey I discovered the truth
That it was all just a dream that I had to reboot!

So I’ma a battle a nightmare, and battle a monster
And play an Ocarina of Time like I’m in concert
Never surrender! And always defend her!
Zelda is the princess that I met on Nintender

Get it? I said it while I’m mixing the platforms
Connected by phones, and wireless or CAT-IV
Since ’85 it’s all been the same boy
But don’t get it twisted; I ain’t playin’ your game, boy !
I like a woman who can handle a Wii
Grab me like a controller when she playin’ downhill ski
And wouldn’t she know I need a little digital princess
Whose hot like the way I pop when I take piss tests

So hit this. Cause I got a lot of lives to live
And a lotta pieces of heart to love you with
Let’s blow on the cartridge like you blowin’ on me
And if it’s cracked send it back to the factory

HOOK:
Pardon my innuendo
But I really need a friend, tho
We could take it to the next level
When you watching me play Nintendo!

Steal a kiss at the arcade
Wouldn’t understand ‘les you're our age
Gaze at the stars, Atari
Chase ya like a Mario-Kart race


Hey yo Z, why-ain’tcha give ya man a chance
You been making him chase you through foreign lands
And through dungeons and castles and limitless battles
And a boss when he cross to the end of the level
What else can that dude do to prove
That no matter what the challenge he’s committed to you?
You keep runnin’ away and I think that’s wrong
(Plus I heard that he’s hung like Donkey Kong!)

You’re the hardest puzzle that I ever had to crack
Saved ya like a million times when ya been kidnapped
Don’t let him think ya forever outta reach
Or he might try his luck with that slut, Princess Peach

He look kinda cute in that green suit, brown boots
You know what to do, when he found you
You a pixilated princess, and I think it’s time ya see
That ya ain’t goin’ do better than this pointy-eared freak!

You’re the one I selected and I want to start
Pressing your buttons till you’re as red as they are
He in the palm of your hand, he’ll do what you want
Make him go down and munch on your Duck Hunt

Give me a chance to give you my love
And a soft caress from my power glove
Power on power up, I think you’ll enjoy it
Girl there’s a reason that they call it the joy stick

Multiplayer “game” with our 64
We goin’ 69 on the Power Pad on the floor
But play it safe, wrap it up in a sleeve
And enjoy those Nintendo accessories !!
Cause my name is Link, and there’s links on the web
And there’s links on my cuffs and there’s cuffs in our bed
The secret to love is like the Contra Code:
Lay the Pipe like Super Mario!!

HOOK:
Pardon my innuendo
But I really need a friend, tho
We could take it to the next level
When you watching me play Nintendo

Steal a kiss at the arcade
Wouldn’t understand lest you're our age
Gaze at the stars Atari
Chase ya like a Mario-Kart race