[Verse 1: Lowkey]
I been sitting on the bus, stressed for 12 minutes
Finally I'm here, at the sexual health clinic
Something's not right and I ain't sure what's wrong
I need to find out what it is and get some more condoms
It feels better raw, but it ain't worth it for this
You can't think about sex if it burns when you piss
And right now I'm thinking bout merkin' this chick
I don't know where I'm going, I'm feeling nervous and sick
As the nurse points to where she thinks I should go
I'm praying I don't see any chicks that I know
'Cause a visit to the clinic can damage your rep
As I give my appointment card to the man at the desk
He looks at me, I feel like I'm facing doom
As he directs me straight to the waiting room
I walk in, not lookin' at faces at all
Not meeting eyes with no one
Waiting for my name to be called
I'm sitting here tense and stressed, not to mention vexed
This place stinks, that's the stench of death
I'm not like the rest of these wankers
But the pamphlets about cancer are getting me anxious
There's a telly in the corner playing MTV
But everything I see reminds me of a STD
I swear down I hate this place, and honestly
I'm not trying to look in any stranger's face
But all around the room all I see is grim faces
Been sitting here for time, getting impatient
I swear I been here for at least a hour
And the [?] next to me needs a shower
Next thing my bredrin walks in discretely
But my man's acting like he didn't even see me
I know the clinic's jarrin', so after I stop laughing
I tap him on the shoulder and ask him what's gwarnin'

[Hook: Lowkey & Tony D]
What you here for, bruv?
Just a check up
Nah, what you here for, blud?
Just a check up
But, what you here for, bruv?
It's just a check up
It's just a minor ting
Just a check up
But what you here for bruv?
Only a check up
What you here for bruv?
It's just a check up
What you here for bruv?
It's just a check up
Only a minor ting blud
It's a check up

[Verse 2: Tony D]
It ain't hard to know the scenario
It's T dot, one of them 24 hour party folk
Mover and shaker, [?] and raver
Picture coming out of funky Buddha in the paper
With this pretty young ting
Just the way I like 'em, you know, a pretty dumb ting
To make a long story short
Cap home to act out, all sauce and no force
As she stroked the erection, she said 'go bareback'
The bare fact I got no protection
She's blowing and begging, posing the question
My toes was trembling, I tried to stay focused bredrin
[?] I keep rubbers
For that any time and any place martini sex
So I strapped him up, just to grind her down
Even remembered the rubber second time around
And while I'm washing in the bathroom
This dirty bitch in bed drawing Zs like alphabetic art school
Reach in my clothes, spark the weed up to smoke
I puffed it and thought 'fuck it', proceeded to doze
My wake-up call was better than any alarm clock
Bitch turned round and [?]
But oh boy, there's no joy
'Cause she's taking [?] with no raincoat on my old boy
So here I am, early doors
Just to check to make sure I ain't got the lurgy or
Something worse 'cause there's no herpes cure
Should've learnt before, lay it down with them dirty whores
On the low, tried to creep and I noticed
It's just my luck, to go meet one of the poets
I swear next fuck, I'm sexing from the neck up
So Kizzy, you pissin' flames or you just here for a check-up?

[Hook: Lowkey & Tony D]
What you here for, blud?
Just a check up
What you here for, blud?
It's just a check up
What you here for, blud?
It's just a check up
It's just a minor ting, man
It's just a check up
What you here for, blud?
It's just a check up
What you here for, blud?
It's just a check up
What you here for, blud?
It's just a check up
I fuckin' told you man -
It's just a check up