[Verse 1]
He was a drunk, he was a punk-ass useless slob
And he didn't even wanna get a job
He'd forgotten how to be himself

They say the world is a stage and every man must play his part
But he didn't make the call-back list
He had a five o'clock shadow on his heart
He was so weak he couldn't even make a fist

To punch himself

She came along, and right away he felt a little less wrong
Subsequently just a little more strong
And this anomaly flipped his lid
He checked his hair, and smoothed out the ruffles in his shirt because he suddenly remembered how to flirt
He took a Tic-Tac, he knew it couldn't hurt
He put his lips on yellow alert
And he said "Hello, how are you?" and he shook her little hand

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh

[Pre-Chorus]
These days he don't know that much about much
But here's his summary:
God is great, the devil is bad, and
Somewhere in the middle there's you and me
[Chorus]
In the wreckage and the ruin
Standing side by side
And they know what they're doin'
In fact he feels like he is finally pulling away
From the devil since he met her
His strength is coming right back like a prodigal son

Like a prodigal son

[Verse 2]
He checked his couch and his pockets and his car's ashtray
And he found enough dinero to pay
For things from the Goodwill Store
Like soap and Listerine
To make him fresh and clean
And a pretty decent old black comb
He found it on the street on his way home

He borrowed some SpeedStick
From the guy in the apartment behind him
He didn't tell him though, I hope he doesn't mind him
He really shouldn't leave his door unlocked, because he
Also took a pair of his socks
Yeah, and a Falco tape, I'm sure he didn't play it anymore
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh

[Pre-Chorus]
Shaved face, smooth as onion
Dressed in out-of-fashion clothes
Ready for their secret tryst
About which everybody knows

[Chorus]
And that's perfectly cool
Yeah-ah-ah-ee-yeah
He's always been a big fool
But thanks to her, he thinks he's finally
Pulling away from the devil, he's just begun
His strength is coming right back
Like a prodigal son
Like a prodigal son

[Bridge]
One step forward, two back
More games for his monopoly
One step forward, two back
Plastic loser falling behind
One step forward, two back
No dice, he chose the moves that he made
And the moves that he made
Led him away
Away from the game
Same old same old
But further away
[Pre-Chorus]
And he still finds life perplexing but he submits
His thesis humbly:
God is great, the devil is bad, and
Somewhere in the middle there's you and me

[Chorus]
In the wreckage and ruin
Standing side by side
And they know what they're doin'
She is the oil can to his tin man
The extra stuffing to his scarecrow
The gamma rays to his Incredible Hulk
Though that sounds crude
He feels like he is finally pulling away
From the devil since he met her
He wrote this to express the gratitude
Of a punk-ass useless dude