[CHARLEY, spoken]
Oh, Mr. Spettigue, my aunt is just longing to meet you again

[MR. SPETTIGUE, spoken]
Oh?

[CHARLEY, spoken]
Yes, sir
But you see, she's so busy
Why, she's upstairs at this very moment
Writing letters to several of her banks

[MR. SPETTIGUE, spoken]
Her banks?

[CHARLEY, spoken]
Yes, sir

[MR. SPETTIGUE, spoken]
I'll wait

[CHARLEY, spoken, aside]
I thought he would

[MR. SPETTIGUE, spoken]
Yes, I'll wait
[MR. SPETTIGUE]
If there's one thing that I hate
It's the thought of acquiring a mate
Especially one with a face like a hatchet
A voice like a duck, and a figure to match it
Short of sight and long of tooth
With a walk that's decidedly funny

And yet, and yet
If there's one thing I love, it's money
And since she has oh so much of it
I'm off for the goldеn touch of it

Lucia, Lucia
You stand at your window and smile
Lucia, Lucia
Oh, please ask mе in for a while
Lucia, Lucia
Tonight to your side let me dash
To be close to the warmth of your lips and your arms
And your cool twenty million in cash (Ha ha)

Lucia, Lucia
Oh, precious one, give me a sign
That you're willing, you're willing to make my life thrilling
Precious one, will you be mine?
[MR. SPETTIGUE & CHARLEY, as AUNT, spoken]
Lucia (Cuckoo, cuckoo)

[CHARLEY, as AUNT, spoken]
Cuckoo ah-hoo-ah-hoo-ah-hoo, hoo hoo hoo

[MR. SPETTIGUE, spoken]
Cuckoo

[CHARLEY, as AUNT, spoken]
Oo hoo, coo-ee, coo-ee, wee, Stevadee-weevee
Hee hee hee hee

[MR. SPETTIGUE, spoken]
Coo-hoo-ee

[CHARLEY, as AUNT, spoken]
Oh, hello

[MR. SPETTIGUE, spoken]
Hello, hee-oo

[CHARLEY, as AUNT, spoken]
Oh, Stevie, I love your voice, mm
Just like an elephant in the mating season
[MR. SPETTIGUE, spoken]
Really?

[MR. SPETTIGUE]
Oh, will you be mine?

[CHARLEY, as AUNT, spoken]
Oh, lovely, Stevie, just lovely