[NICELY]
What's playin' at the Roxy?
I'll tell you what's playin' at the Roxy
A picture about a Minnesota man
So in love with a Mississippi girl
That he sacrifices everything
And moves all the way to Biloxi
That's what's playin' at the Roxy

[BENNY]
What's in the Daily News?
I'll tell you what's in the Daily News
Story about a guy who bought his wife a small ruby
With what otherwise would have been his union dues
That's what's in the Daily News

[NICELY]
What's happenin' all over?
I'll tell you what's happenin' all over
Guy's sitting at home by a television set
Who once used to be something of a rover

[NICELY & BENNY]
That's what's happenin' all over
Love is the thing that's licked 'em
And it looks like Nathan's just another victim
[NICELY, spoken]
Yes, sir!

[NICELY]
When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doin' it for some doll

[BENNY]
When you spot a John waiting out in the rain
Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane

[NICELY]
When you meet a gent payin' all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal

[NICELY & BENNY]
Call it sad, call it funny
But it's better than even money
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll

[BENNY]
When you see a Joe savin' half of his dough
You can bet there'll be mink in it for some doll

[NICELY]
When a bum buys wine like a bum can't afford
It's a cinch that the bum is under the thumb
Of some little broad
[BENNY]
When you meet a mug lately out of the jug
And he's still lifting platinum folderol

[NICELY & BENNY]
Call it hell, call it heaven
It's a probable twelve to seven
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll

[BENNY]
When you see a sport and his cash has run short
Make a bet that he's bankin' it with some doll

[NICELY]
When a guy wears tails with the front gleaming white
Who the hell do you think he's tickling pink on Saturday night?

[BENNY]
When a lazy slob takes a good steady job
And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol

[NICELY & BENNY]
Call it dumb, call it clever
Ah, but you can give odds forever
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll
Some doll, some doll
The guy's only doin' it for some doll!
[NATHAN, spoken]
He couldn't have
How could he?
She couldn't have gone!