(Dave and Wayne are driving around the city, with Wayne behind the wheel)
[Wayne]
Dave, I got to tell you, man, I'm really happy to be hanging out with you. This is nice.
[Dave]
Oh, man, it's just been great, man.
[Wayne]
Well, same here, man. You busy with your show. I got my stuff. This is really cool.
[Dave]
Yeah, man, you see, that's the thing with black actors, man. We need to just unify. We can't just be out like--
[Wayne]
Exactly.
[Dave]
Hey, hold up, Wayne, I think you passed our turn. The restaurant's back that way.
[Wayne]
Nah, that's alright. Relax.
[Dave]
What, you going to get some weed?
[Wayne]
(laughs) No.
[Dave]
You gonna get some weed, holla at your boy! I know the spot.
[Wayne]
Hold on.
[Dave]
Alright.
[Wayne]
There he is. BREAK YOURSELF, FOOL!
[Donnell]
Aww, shit! It's Wayne Brady, son!
(Wayne opens fire on the people outside the club, Donnell gets shoot repeatedly)
[Dave]
Oh! Oh, what the fuck are you doing, man?
[Wayne]
Riverside, motherfucker!
[Dave]
Goddamn, man.
(Wayne drives off and laughs)
[Dave]
What the fuck are you doing?!
[Wayne]
Dave, calm down.
[Dave]
What you mean, calm down? You just--
[Wayne]
Dave, relax.
[Dave]
You just shot people, Wayne!
[Wayne]
Dave, Dave.
[Dave]
Those were people you shot! Goddamn, man, you got a Daytime Emmy, n***a, you ain't supposed to be doin' shit like this!
(Wayne stops the car)
[Wayne]
Dave, you making me nervous. You making me think that you gonna snitch. Now, you're not gonna snitch, right?
[Dave]
No, man, come on, now, I ain't no snitch.
[Wayne]
Now, you sure you're not gonna snitch?
[Dave]
It's me, n***a, it's Dave, baby.
[Wayne]
Motherfucker, you gonna snitch on me?
[Dave]
Yo, n***a, come on. It's me, it's Dave. We black actors, man, we got to stick together. We black actors. I ain't gonna snitch on you. Come on, it's me, baby. It's dave. It's Dave Chappelle. It's your boy.
[Wayne]
Okay. Sorry, man.
[Dave]
I got to get some money, man. I got to go to the atm, I don't have no money.
[Wayne]
I'll get some money...all right...right here.
(Wayne parks)
[Wayne]
We at it.
[Dave]
Where's the ATM?
[Wayne]
(claps) Hey!
[Woman]
Hey, Daddy.
[Wayne]
Hoes, Dave. Dave, Hoes.
[Dave]
Good evening, bitches.
[Woman]
We did good tonight.
[Wayne]
That's what I like to hear! That's-oh! That's nice. Hey, baby! Thank you! All right, more power to me. All right, thank you, baby! Oh--Oh, Raquel, what's this? Mr. Franklin's lonely. He's-- There's only--
[Raquel]
Sorry, Daddy.
[Wayne]
What do you mean, "Sorry, daddy?" What the hell did-- Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch? I'm gonna have to get out of this car and choke-- I'm not violent. I try not to be. I'm a-- you know what?
[Dave]
Wayne, come on, man. Come on, Wayne.
[Wayne]
No, no, no, I'm gonna get outta this car right now!
[Dave]
Come on, will you please-- Please, man? Come on, just-just let it slide.
[Wayne]
(exhales) You better thank Dave Chappelle. Go ahead.
[Raquel]
Thank you, Dave, and I like your show.
[Dave]
Run, bitch! Run for your life! Get some help!...I'm just playing around. You know.