SCENE XVIII.——BÉLINE, ARGAN (stretched out in his chair), TOINETTE.


TOI.
(pretending not to see Béline). Ah heavens! Ah! what a misfortune! What a strange accident!

BEL.
What is the matter, Toinette?

TOI.
Ah! Madam!

BEL.
What ails you?

TOI.
Your husband is dead.

BEL.
My husband is dead?

TOI. Alas! yes; the poor soul is gone.

BEL.

Are you quite certain?
TOI.
Quite certain. Nobody knows of it yet. I was all alone here when it happened. He has just breathed his last in my arms. Here, just look at him, full-length in his chair.

BEL.
Heaven be praised. I am delivered from a most grievous burden. How silly of you, Toinette, to be so afflicted at his death.

TOI.
Ah! Ma'am, I thought I ought to cry.

BEL.
Pooh! it is not worth the trouble. What loss is it to anybody, and what good did he do in this world? A wretch, unpleasant to everybody; of nauseous, dirty habits; always a clyster or a dose of physic in his body. Always snivelling, coughing, spitting; a stupid, tedious, ill-natured fellow, who was for ever fatiguing people and scolding night and day at his maids and servants.

TOI.
An excellent funeral oration!

BEL.
Toinette, you must help me to carry out my design; and you may depend upon it that I will make it worth your while if you serve me. Since, by good luck, nobody is aware of his death, let us put him into his bed, and keep the secret until I have done what I want. There are some papers and some money I must possess myself of. It is not right that I should have passed the best years of my life with him without any kind of advantage. Come along, Toinette, first of all, let us take all the keys.

ARG.
(getting up hastily). Softly.

BEL.
Ah!

ARG.
So, my wife, it is thus you love me?
TOI.
Ah! the dead man is not dead.

ARG.
(to Béline, who goes away) I am very glad to see how you love me, and to have heard the noble panegyric you made upon me. This is a good warning, which will make me wise for the future, and prevent me from doing many things.