[Player 1 spoken Intro]
So if my opening hand has these 7 cards, I draw this card for my first turn, my opponent passes his turn without playing any lands, I cast this and this, I win... well, I don't actually win. It's a pretty sweet 8-card combo

Decksperado
Why don’t you come to your senses?
You’ve been casting Ascensions for so long now

Oh, you’re a hard one
[Player 1] ...flash it back...
But I know that you’ve got your reasons
[Player 1] ...Mindslaver MYSELF...
But these decks that are pleasing you will hurt you somehow

Don’t you sleeve that Sundering Titan, boy
They’ll beat you if they’re able
The Primeval one is always your best bet

Now it seems to me some fine decks
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that just can’t win

Decksperado
No, you don’t want to do better
Or play something in the meta
You just go 0 and 8
It may be raining
But there’s a rainbow above you

You better stop assembling Kaldra
Stop assembling Kaldra
You better stop assembling Kaldra
Before it’s too late

[Player 1] ...Equip them all...
[Player 2] I mean, I have a Doom Blade