Rachel Bloom
He’s The New Guy
[Rebecca]
He’s the new guy
You can’t trust him
He’s a bad guy
Even when he’s nice
Just because you’ve seen him
Show an ounce of vulnerability
Do you think that means
He has some secret heart of gold?
Sure there was that one scene
Where he pooped his pants in front of you
And by scene I mean he made a scene
Well I for one ain’t sold!

He’s the new guy
Not easily reformed by
Some quirky girl he met at work
Just because now he
Become a series regular
And by season regular I mean
He eats bran in the spring
Doesn’t mean the show is now called
‘Rich and pompous lawyer’
And by show I mean his favorite show
Which by the way is ‘Wings ’!?
[Tim]
What?

[Rebecca]
Screw the new guy
Well, I did that and that’s how I know
That he hasn’t changed a bit
He’s an evil sociopath who’s
Tricked you into liking him
Why else do you think that
I’m singing this reprise?
And by this reprise it means
Whatever just don’t think about it!

Sue the new guy!

[Rebecca and the others]
Hub bub hub bub!
Hub bub hub bub!
Hub bub hub bub!
Hub bub hub bub!

[Darryl]
Hey, what’s a reprise?

[Rebecca]
Darryl shut up!