Rachel Bloom
Sports Analogies
(Scat Intro)
[JOSH AND NATHANIEL]
Sha da da dop sop top bop dabba doo dow

(Verse)
[NATHANIEL]
We're down for the count
It's down to the wire
We can't drop the ball
We gotta aim a little higher

[JOSH]
'Cause when we're on the ropes
And it's our turn at bat
We gotta throw a Hail Mary
Gotta go to the mat

[JOSH AND NATHANIEL]
Sports analogies
Sports analogies

[NATHANIEL]
We found the common ground in all men's personalities

[JOSH]
We talk a big game, that's how we relate
[JOSH AND NATHANIEL]
It's the easiest way for men to communicate

(Interlude)
[NATHANIEL]
Hike!

[JOSH AND NATHANIEL]
Sha da da dop sop top bop dabba doo dow

(Verse 2)
[JOSH]
It's par for the course

[NATHANIEL]
When you're in the home stretch

[JOSH]
To swing for the fences

[NATHANIEL]
With a full-court press

[JOSH]
We're on the one-yard line
[NATHANIEL]
Inches to go

[JOSH]
So you'll pitch and I'll catch

[NATHANIEL]
'Cause it's our lead to blow

[JOSH AND NATHANIEL]
Let's use more sports analogies
Sports analogies
They help men cope with life's harsh realities

[JOSH]
Let's spew more cliches

[NATHANIEL]
'Til we run out the clock

[JOSH]
Just keep your eye on the ball

[NATHANIEL]
The puck
[JOSH]
And my shuttlecock

[JOSH AND NATHANIEL]
Hey!

(Instrumental and drinking break)

(Bridge)
[JOSH AND NATHANIEL]
Sometimes when we watch sports, we get sad
And we make it seem like we're sad about the sports

[JOSH]
But we're not really crying about the game at all

[NATHANIEL]
Who really cares about a game of basketball?

[JOSH AND NATHANIEL]
We're sad about our dads
We couldn't talk to our dads

(Coda)
Unless we used sports analogies
Sports analogies
Men feel safe with these empty generalities

[NATHANIEL]
Let's go for the gold

[JOSH]
And then we'll hit the lockers

[JOSH AND NATHANIEL]
We're American men, we like all sports except for soccer
'Cause soccer's just a bunch of foreigners runnin' around
Yeah!