[Intro: Unknown P]
What in the bumba?
A middle-class Daily Duppy
I don't believe it
Mildred, pop open the Shloer, would you?
I haven't been this excited since Crufts in 2008
Hmm, Unknown P

[Verse: Unknown P]
I copped a yacht in a sale
Running down opps, cheffing up quails
Never chase females, because it just gets
Long like Digga D's nails
If you point the finger like ET
I'm spraying up rats like Banksy graffiti
And now man stress cause I got the ting
Pressed to his chest like a GP (stick 'em up)
I make more P's than a doctor
And I'm sat front row in a box at the opera
Call my new ting Priya causе man pree her
Like her last namе Chopra
She's working class, but peng though
I switch up girls, Nintendo
She stays the night, but I make her leave
In the a.m., Skengdo (Get out)
I'm a middle class shotta (posh)
Man was hot, but Percy's hotter
Now hand me your paper
Or I'll raise this wand like Potter (Expelliarmus)
Private school, I speak proper
And you know I've inherited billions
So I've got more pounds than Poundz
And I've got more millys than M1llionz
Champagne chugger (Cheers)
You came to the rave in a tracksuit
I'm dressed like a GQ cover
And I'm in the pocket like a mugger
I pay for a 10 course meal
I could never go Dutch like Stefflon's brother
I leave a tip, arrive on a horse
Leave in a whip
How many times did I bunk off Latin?
To run a man down in Clapham
Had to give man the London look
Had to leave man's teeth with the gap in (smile)
Dr Seuss when I'm in the booth
Mandem think that my hat's got a cat in
Got stopped in Wapping, cause the feds
Thought that my coat had a wap in
Your hairline looks like a monk's
I got a king-sized, you're on bunks
I got horses, female ones
Man's got fillies like Chunkz
Back out the shank like Trunks
Mayfair for the pengest munch
I would never go Greggs by choice
The only rolls this man knows is a Royce
If in doubt, just drill it
I got seabass in my skillet
Both hands on the wheel of the whip
Don't want to crash like Prince Philip
I'm a savage, I put a fox in a Rizla
And then bill it
And the stakes are high
'Cause I'm in the Shard eating fillet (scrumptious)
Big up Felix, big up Monty
How many nights did we spend in the bando
Reading Emily Brontë?
Whipping up white in the AGA
Now man's got a mansion
I'm a black man in a white house, Obama
Only got one coat because Unknown P never cheats on his Barbour (naughty)
No man (nuh-uh)
Got more crepes than Konan
Walking on airs, I'm the snowman
Powerful father, Gohan (daddy)
I'm a toff, pushing your buttons, Charlie Sloth (seal)
I'm on the throne, sitting alone like a man with a cough