Hello Grandma, how is your granddaughter?
Hello Grandma, how is that little girl?
I've been kind of out of touch, but I thought I would call her
Is she at home or is she around the world?
Is she at home or is she around the world?

"Well, young man, you must mean Kathy
But I never heard her mention you"
No ma'am, I don't mean Kathy, I don't hardly even know her
"Well Kathy's just fine, you know she's still going to school
But she'll be home Father's Day to see her father"

No Grandma, how's your other granddaughter?
You know Grandma, how is that little girl?
I've been kind of out of touch lately, but I did used to know her
Is she at home or is she around the world?
Is she at home or is she around the world?

"Well young man, you can't mean her
Why, didn't you hear she got married and moved off to Chicago
Her husband's so handsome and she just loves it up there
His family owns a newspaper and an opulent disco"

Whoa Grandma, is this 924-8838?
"Well yes, young man, it certainly is"
That's the problem Grandma, I have made a mistake
I ain't called this number in too many years
I ain't called this number in too many years
No Grandma, how's your other granddaughter?
You know Grandma, how is that little girl?
I've been kind of out of touch lately, but I did used to know her
Is she at home or is she around the world?
Is she at home or is she around the world?