Never been near a university
Never took a paper or a learned degree
And some of your friends think that's stupid of me
But it's nothing that I care about
Well I don't know how to tell the weight of the sun
And of mathematics well I want none
And I may be the Mayor of Simpleton
But I know one thing
And that's I love you
When their logic grows cold and all thinking gets done
You'll be warm in the arms of the Mayor of Simpleton
I can't have been there when brains were handed round
(please be upstanding for the Mayor of Simpleton)
Or get past the cover of your books profound
(please be upstanding for the Mayor of Simpleton)
And some of your friends thinks it's really unsound
That you're ever seen talking to me
Well I don't know how to write a big hit song
And all crossword puzzles well I just shun
And I may be the Mayor of Simpleton
But I know one thing
And that's I love you
I'm not proud of the fact that I never learned much
Just feel I should say
What you get is all real
I can't put on an act
It takes brains to do that anyway. (And anyway...)
And I can't unravel riddles, problems and puns
How the home computer has me on the run
And I may be the Mayor of Simpleton
But I know one thing
And that's I love you (I love you)
If depth of feeling is a currency
(please be upstanding for the Mayor of Simpleton)
Then I'm the man who grew the money tree
(no Chain of Office and no hope of getting one)
Some of your friends are too brainy to see
That they're paupers and that's how they'll stay
Well I don't know how many pounds make up a ton
Of all the Nobel prizes that I've never won
And I may be the Mayor of Simpleton
But I know one thing
And that's I love you
When all logic grows cold and all thinking gets done
You'll be warm in the arms of the Mayor of Simpleton
You'll be warm in the arms of the Mayor of Simpleton
You'll be warm in the arms of the Mayor
(Please be upstanding for the Mayor of Simpleton.)